What was his name?
Didn’t matter.
He hadn’t used the one that he had been given at birth for years now. It was on all his papers and too easy to trace.
But the one he used nowadays was better anyway. It made his clients feel like they were entrusting their lives to a higher power. It made them feel safe. Like someone was looking out for them. Like someone was taking care of the things they could no longer control.
It was a cool name.
But in the larger scheme of things, it didn’t matter.
Because when he went, he’d leave it behind. Just like everything else.
The girl sitting across the round table was staring. At his plants. At his curtains. At the framed painting of the cosmos. At the collection of crystals artfully strew across the living room. At the deck of cards on the round table between them. At all the tricks of his trade. Dull eyes. Not really seeing anything. He could make out fresh cuts on the inside of her palm. There were probably more hidden by her long sleeves. The tea he had served her was growing cold on the side-table.
She wasn’t like his other clients. Not in the typical fashion. Not rich. Not middle-aged. The only reason he interacted with her at all was that she was close to one of his regulars. But in many other ways, she was just the same.
“Do you have a question for the cards?” he asked.
“Huh?”
“A question, it helps direct the flow. If you have something you want to know or some knowledge you are seeking.”
“Err… I’m not sure.”
“Just think about it for a little. Think about what’s been troubling you.”
“I think I feel sad… like I’m…”
“Go on…”
“Like I’m always on the outside, looking in…”
“What does that mean?”
“Like everyone has this one thing… and I want that thing, I’ve spent my whole life taking notes, learning from the mistakes of others… my parents, my sister, my aunt and uncle, my cousins… And I just don’t get it… why they get a chance and they get to have it and why I don’t. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. I don’t know why I am being punished.”
“What makes you think you’re being punished?”
“What else could it be? I am miserable… all the time… and I don’t understand why… why I can’t just have someone… I mean, I don’t even get a chance to start anything. I am twenty-eight years old. I’ve never had a relationship. No one is attracted to me. Everyone I like, just leaves… and I am just left outside again. I don’t understand.”
“It’s not easy, feeling all these things… But the thing is, you have to feel them… you can’t keep doing what you are doing to escape how you are feeling. You have to let it through, you have to accept…”
“Accept what, that I am going to be alone and miserable all my life?”
“Accept that you are feeling lonely. Accept that it is never easy to find someone who fully understands you. Accept that you’ll have to be patient. And even after that, things may not work out. And you’ll have to accept that too.”
“So, you’re saying I’ll never find someone?”
“Is that what you want to ask the cards?”
“Yes.”
“Then ask the question, ask it out loud.”
“Will I ever find someone to be with in my life?”
He closed his eyes and focussed. He may be who he was, but the cards were a powerful tool. Especially when dealing with someone this unstable. You didn’t want to say something, give them false hope only to hear they took drastic actions based on what you said. He may be a lot of things, but even he wasn’t that heartless. Taking a deep breath, he laid out three cards on the table. He studied them for a bit. Before looking up, straight in her eyes.
“Yes, you will find love. But not soon. It’s a long journey. But the cards say it will be worth it.”
He saw the change in her eyes, a lowering of hopelessness, a kindling of some kind of spark.
“Let me give you something that will help,” he said, rising from his seat. He went inside and returned with a little plastic baggy. In it was a crystal. Rose quartz. Shaped like a heart. With a little loop at its centre. “This will help you clear some of the negative energy. To make room for new things. The Universe will do the rest. Don’t worry, it’s no charge. Not for you.”
She took the heart from him. Smiling a little.
“Wow… thank you, thank you so much!”
He smiled at how she stared at the piece of rock. There was a long way to go, but for the moment, tragedy had been averted. At least until that heart shattered. They all did.
But before it did, he had time.
Sometimes people do strange things. And leave you with questions you never knew you had. This story is dedicated to someone I respected and trusted. Who gave me hope in dark times. It is also dedicated to all those questions I never knew I had.
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